Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Yesterday marked the 2nd anniversary of my leaving singapore. I've been overseas for exactly 2 years now, and I can't help but feel left out. Reading about all the camps, and the outings, and the great impactful sermons on other people's blogs really do affect me quite a bit. It hurts. In fact, quite a bit, sometimes. Well yeah, i know.. even though i'm missing out at "home", i'm still doing stuff here right? I'm still reaching out to a whole new area of the world, planting seeds of faith in people i wouldn't have gotten to know if i didn't "go". Yeah, i'm doing the right thing by following the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yeah.... i know. I know.
I've had this conversation/argument with my parents a million times, and it always ends up with tears. It kills that when i'm home, this is all i can think about. So it's good that i'm thinking about it here, now, so that i can set my frame of mind now. Facing the facts is tough. If God wants me to study here for another 5.5 years, ok. But what about the other aspects of my life? What about my friends in singapore? Hong kong? Leaving it all behind? 5.5 years is a very long time, and when it's over people will have moved on to the next phase of their lives. I mean, i'll be 24!
It's not good. I've been struggling with this issue ever since i left singapore. I should have overcome it already, but i haven't! You think you're fine, and then one fine day, you are reminded that you are only a youth once, and that you are spending it away from your family!
Ok ok enough about that. I don't usually write my feelings down on this blog, due to it's enormous popularity! Yeah, but i think people will benefit from this. Ok guys, so this is how i feel after 2 years of studying abroad. Take that into account with your decision making. I'm not saying that everyone who studies abroad will feel this way. I know lots of people who are just.. you know.. having the time of their lives away from home, with all this freedom, money, and booze. Yeah... well.
They say the grass is always greener on the other side. I've been to quite a few "other sides", and i have to say still like home.
